shots.

i hate shots. i really hate shots, and yet i have to have one weekly and that really sucks. i actually think that the more time that goes by having to have them, the more anxious of them rather than getting used to them. at least i don't have to give them to myself because there is no way in hell that would happen. that is probably the sole reason i didn't start them when i was first diagnosed, even though the dr would have forced them on me if she legally could; or at least it sure felt like it at the time. yes, it is only once a week but still, i would be more than happy to live without it. the biggest thing that sucks about it (besides it being a shot) is that it is not even a medical cure, it is just a 'therapy' to help slow down the progression. i guess it is working because i never got a call from the neurologist saying you're doomed, it is doing nothing. of course when i tried to get the results of the mri from his office the chick just said they weren't at the office i usually go to so she couldn't even look it up but the dr would call me if there were any problems. of course she never did tell me what days they are at that office... whatever. they're kind of annoying anyway a have an attitude when i call.
now yes, i complain about the shots but i do know that i am lucky that it is only once a week because there are other ones that you have to do every other day, every 3rd day or even daily. i have no idea what i would do if i had to use that 'medication/therapy/whatever'. so i guess in that regard i'm lucky, of course when it comes to shots i don't consider myself lucky. it has also completely turned my off the smell of 409 cleaner. mike uses that to clean the dining room table before giving me the shot. (you're supposed to have a clean surface before you put the shot paraphernalia down) now whenever i smell that it gives me a headache and makes me think of shots. it is almost like people who hate the smell of hospitals, or at least a scent that reminds them of hospitals. i refuse to clean with 409 now, i will find something else to use that has a different odor.
so the day after having the shot somewhat sucks too but has gotten better since my dr told me to take aleve before my shot instead of advil. i used to wake up with a borderline migraine and have to get bree ready for the bus and taylor out bed and changed. now i am just mostly tired and that is because of the sleeping pill i have to take to sleep through the side effects (flu like symptoms) of said shot. it is nice that i can take the shot during the week instead of on the weekend though; it lets me have my weekends to drink a little if i so desired, which quite often i do :) .
now for those of you who have recently been diagnosed, it really isn't that bad but i am a baby when i comes to shots of any kind and am extremely lucky my husband is willing to give them to me. i am also lucky that he is military and has the insurance to go along with it because we pay $27 for 3 month supply and insurance covers the thousands the shots cost. don't worry, if you can't afford it or don't have insurance the company that makes avonex (the shot) will help  you pay for it.
hmm... well i guess that is the end of my whining, bitch session i guess. for today and for now... ;)